All I Need
by MountainHive
Summary: Everything feels complete whenever he holds on to me tightly – never letting go. Beautiful flowers, colourful butterflies, the sensation of love when you're being embraced by the one you love. Yet – I am just a mere acquaintance to him.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.**

**Chapter 1: _All I Need_**_**  
><strong>_**Inspired Music: All I Need ( Within Temptation ) ; Lucky ( Britney Spears ) ; Everytime ( Britney Spears ) ; Natsu No Ringo ( Kalafina )  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Everything feels complete whenever he holds on to me tightly – never letting go. Beautiful flowers, colourful butterflies, the sensation of love when you're being embraced by the one you love. Yet – I am just a mere acquaintance to him. A friend, someone for him to confide in, but never a lover – never one that can simply touch his heart and tell him to forget all his agony and be with me.<p>

I'm selfish that way. But isn't that what love is - the most beautiful, yet the most dangerous emotion of all? Doesn't he ever feel my heart racing whenever our chests are pressed against each other when we hug or the slight quiver of my lips when I feel his face getting closer to mine? The whisper in my mind when I silently say '_I love you_'?

I hate – I despise this one-sided love! Give me a chance, give me a chance to prove it to him that I can love him more than the girl that constantly leave him in the darkness! Why does he stay with her, anyway? What is this _love_ they have between each other if they keep quarrelling? Is it something I don't understand?

I remember the day he brought my out shopping to look for a gift. I was stupid – stupid enough to think that he was going to get me a present for my birthday in two days.

"_Which one do you like among all of them? I have the money, don't hold back."_

_I felt ecstatic. My heart was beating so fast that day. I was a fool. "The one with the small diamond at the centre of the sphere."_

I waited for him to give me the gift, but it never came. Not only that, he didn't even wish me happy birthday on that day. I pursed my lips and dismissed the thought. I knew I was thinking too much, there's no way he'll get me something as expensive as that. No way would he get a friend something as expensive as that in expense. True enough, in the party he held in his house two weeks later, his girlfriend had that necklace around her neck. It suits her perfectly. Who am I to compare her beauty to mine?

"_Another argument?"_

"_What else? I was just trying to protect her from getting touched by another guy."_

"_Maybe she got the wrong idea?"_

"_Wrong idea?" he scoffed. "That _guy_ was practically molesting her back! What wrong idea, Mikan? Enlighten me!"_

That was one of the very few days he yelled at me. He rarely yells at me especially anything concerning his girlfriend. I was heartbroken. I wanted immediate comfort but there was no one I could go to! I thought to myself, would he react the same way when he sees a guy touching me the same way the guy was touching his girlfriend? Yet again – I doubt it. He would just think I'm in some relationship and wouldn't interfere.

I took a deep breath. I shouldn't feel this way towards him anymore. I have to end this feeling. I needed to take the first step, to leave him, to save myself. For him to disappear from my life and me in his.

I pushed his body away from mine. Missing the warmth from his embrace. He gave me a confused look – it's as expected, I had never pushed him away before from our hugs. This is the first.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"It felt a bit awkward," I admitted – giving a small smile at the sides of my lips.

An uncomfortable silence went between us. My palms were sweating. '_I need to end this', I kept telling myself. _

"I'm leaving Japan," I said curtly.

He was obviously taken aback. He scrutinized my face, trying to find the reason behind my odd façade. "Why, are you leaving?"

I licked my dry lips. I saw that coming. "Dad wants to move over to America and start a new life there. It's easier for the entire family to move over along with him than to have him to fly across the globe every other month."

"When?"

"Tonight in approximately five hours."

"There's something more to it than simply your father switching jobs. Tell me," he pressed on.

'_You, Natsume. You are the other reason why I'm eager to move, to leave this place I call home._' I pursed my lips, "Why do you think that?"

"Because the Mikan I know is loud and obnoxious and she would tell me everything before the event. For Mikan something as important as this on her last few hours before she leaves, there's a very good reason why she's doing it," he said.

He knew me so well, it hurts.

"Well, if you remembered correctly, I've been pretty busy sorting out stuff in school and you as well with your Student Council job. I don't see the time that we could have met up and simply talk."

"There's such thing called the phone, Mikan. We used to spend hours talking on the phone."

I love how he mentioned the past there. '_We _used_ to spend hours talking on the phone_'. Why can't we do the same anymore? Why is it in the past? "I was busy sorting out my departure, Natsume. Stop being such an egomaniac and think the world is all about you, it's not. I don't have to tell you everything I do."

"What is with this attitude, Mikan?"

"I don't know. I just thought me leaving with this gesture would make everything easier. Make you miss me less." I shrugged. "The only reason why I came over today was because I thought we could catch up on our childhood. But who knew that the moment I entered here, you started talking to me about your girlfriend this, your girlfriend that. Have you ever thought that I feel sick of hearing the same thing for so many years already?"

I was going overboard. I rendered him speechless. He just stared at me as I tried to focus my eyes on other things.

"I've got to run. I promise to mail you when I arrive in America," I lied. No way will I do any form of contact with him. Not when I'm trying to avoid him at all cost. I picked up my bag and walked towards the exit.

As usual, Natsume is relentless. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back in. "Tell me!"

"Stop it, Natsume. You're hurting me." '_and my heart' _I wanted to add_._

He let go of my arm instantly and stared at me.

"There's nothing to tell. My father-"

"I can bet as hell that it has nothing to do with your father. You had never been a good liar, Mikan."

I pursed my lips.

"It's obvious that the atmosphere around here had risen. I can no longer feel calm. I really have to go." I bit my lip and quickly bustle out the door, making myself walk fast enough so he wouldn't grab me again.

I'm leaving my past behind, I'm leaving the love of my life behind.

_Goodbye, Natsume._

* * *

><p>Yes, it does seem rushed and here comes another story with an unhappy ending between Mikan and Natsume. I was supposed to upload this last night but my computer decided to crash and throw a tantrum before I could even click the upload button on FFN. ENJOY!<em><br>_


End file.
